Some months ago my (ex)boyfriend introduced me to one of his friends. Some months before we broke up, they had a fight. They haven't talked since then, but I still talk to the friend... He's really funny

He started college a few days ago... He says everyone's too serious and that he's not serious, he likes to disturb the girls. LOL

Im rather intrigued by university stuff... I wonder what its like and if Ill adjust to it next year or Ill make no friends and fail every single subject

Last night my boyfriend (It feels so weird to call him my boyfriend!) sms'ed me asking if I could go to his apartment after school. I told him Id be there aound 5.30, so that I can eat lunch at home and maybe even try to look a lil pretty ^_^

The thing is, Im very tired. VERY tired. So I dont know if I should go... I feel bad about it because we havent met since sunday, and I havent called him either... So if I refuse to meet him, he'll think I dont care or something. Heh dating is complicated... Maybe I can take a nap with him :)
I hope he's feeling sweet and NOT HORNY *runs away from sex* LOL. I really dont wanna have sex :X Not with him, anyway.

Thank you and you for the advice ^_^
(will finish entry later)

I went to my boyfriends room yesterday. Since he's not from here, he shares an apartment with some other people.

Our first time being alone was pretty good ^_^ I felt very much spoiled... which was good! I was this close to falling asleep. He gave me a massage and asked me if I wanted to take a nap a few times
...
Overall, I think Im glad I didnt cancel the date

Ahhh in 20 minutes it will be monday, and I still havent started my homework! Im so lazy...

It was just a typical weekend for me. I slept a lot, not enough (its never enough!), watched tv and took some nice walks with my dog :) I wanted to do the homework as soon as possible.. but kept procrastinating.. oh well! Ill have to do them now

Tomorrow would have been my exboyfriend's and I first year anniversary. Im sad. I baked some cookies with different shapes (like hearts and letters). I burned them -_- But anyway Ill take some pics of them and send them (the pics) to the exboyfriend ^_^ Now, before you roll your eyes at me and yell pathetic! Let me explain that its not a sad way to try to get him back, I dont even want him back. We just have a strange relationship with a lot of love.

Ah I wish Tabulas had the "draft" option like MovableType...

I didnt go to school today. I stayed up talking to the exboyfriend til 4am so today I just slept in bed instead of sleeping in class.

My mother wants me to go to a psychologist and Im considering it.

You see, Im not really good dealing with problems. I tend to give up fighting and let sadness control me.

my "bestfriend". I love her.

Shes so loving and cute ^_^ I wish I can visit her soon. I havent seen her since last august... I need around 400$ to pay for the ticket and other lil things. I have a 5 day break by the end of this month, I wish I had the money!

Note: I dont have a real bestfriend, but if I had a bestfriend, she would be my bestfriend :D

(Read More)

Im very tired and I think Im caught a cold. Im gonna try to get in bed and fall asleep soon.
Im feeling sad... Could be because life is shitty, or because my mother has been depressed... Besides, tomorrow Im supposed to break up with my boyfriend, if we meet, that is. I have no idea how to do it. Or how he's gonna take it. I hope it doesnt get ugly cus I have an exam on friday and I need the concentration and study time.
Yes, that sounded very selfish. :(

One step closer to getting over the exboyfriend :)
(will explain later)

Okay so, 2 months something after the break-up, I think Im starting to get over him.
Yesterday we had a Long convo. We talked about me not being over him yet, the way that makes him feel (his words: guilty and sad). We cleared out a lot of stuff, ie why I wanna visit him and what it means to each one of us when we say Iloveyou. Its all in a friendly way :)

I cant say its a big step, but when things are clear its easier to move on. Now I feel ready to start getting over him. In the back of my mind I still think we'll make up someday... but I know it's not gonna happen

It's the first time I make such an effort to really get along with an exboyfriend. Usually, I would simply walk out and try to erase him from my memory... But this time its different :) Im thankful for having him in my life, as a friend

The Thursday Thumb-Twiddler
1. If you were President, under what circumstances -- if any -- would it be okay for you to lie to the public?
None. As I see it, the President represents the nation so he should do what the nation wants him to do... I dont wanna be lied to and I doubt anyone else wants that.. Therefore, the President cant lie
2. If you were running for office, and knew that you could win if your campaign spread malicious -- and false -- rumors about your opponent, would you do so? What if it was the only way to win? What if your opponent were doing it to you, first?
I cant say I wouldnt if my opponent was doing it to me first, but I hope I wouldnt. I should believe enough in the ideas I defended and believe that everyone will realize my ideas are just what the country needs. Then, they would vote for me, no need to say shit about the opponent
3. If you could break or smash any object you wanted against a brick wall whenever you needed to vent frustration, what object would you choose?
Depends. If I had to clean after it myself, Id smash something unbreakable like a ball . If someone else would, then probably a guitar or computer (Id break it with a baseball bat... I have imagined that so many times....!)

Meh Im feeling so bad :( I wonder if my body is really gonna explode... Evil evil evil period, why did u come today? Didnt you know I need to work hard all day?! Is that a sign that I should spend the day in bed reading my Hermann Hesse book?

Fall layout... Hmmm Fall reminds me of leafs, leafs sounds like leaves
True love never leaves?
Not the best thing to say after a break-up, is it? Well, yeah.. I just think true love remains with you, even after the break up
^_^ Thats all. Must study. Must read book. Must sleep.
Oh, and yeah, Im aware it should be written leaves, but I like it better that way ^_^u

1 year and a half ago, I decided not to study french anymore. Ive never liked the language, so after getting my diploma, there was no reason to continue studying, right?
Wrong! Now I cant speak french anymore >.< I can still understand it but thats not enough. I love being able to communicate in different languages... sure, u can tell they are not my language, but so what? ^_^u
So Ive signed up for extra french classes and Im having the first one in a few minutes.

Bright note of the day: I had the highest mark in maths :D Just 3/20 passed the exam... heh

Ah! I have 2 exams tomorrow! Ive studied much more than usual but Im not confident :( I just need to calm down and remind myself that I can do it well.
Wish me luck ^_^

Click
Im gonna try to post a pic everyday and write something about it...

Me very tired. Me needs sleep.

Yes. Its official. Im over him.
Its taken me some time, but its over. Sure, I still love him. Sure, Im still sad. But Im over him. Im not hurting. Im not mad. Im not scared of love.
Boy, this rocks :)
Oh, and just for the record, hes such a great person :) I admire him, truly.
Im sorry for the man thats gona come after him to make me fall in love with him, its gonna be so hard for him to be better! :P

Some weeks ago her entry made me very curious about alternatives to IE.
A few days ago I downloaded Mozilla and I must say I like it much more than IE.
<3 Open link in new tab option & the modern theme look ^_^
I also worked on my phlog to make it viewable in any browser... If somethings looking weird, please leave a comment so I can work on it :)
Heh.. I want a new cam and I wanna go to photography classes. I wana learn to develop my own photos!

This morning I got ready for school faster than usual. So I decided to take a nap. I set the alarm on my cell phone and instantly fell asleep.
...
I woke up half an hour after the first class had begun.
>.< Stupid cell turned off in the middle of my sleep
bah... at least I wish I didnt have an important class today, so that I could skip all day... the teacher is gonna eat me alive anyway

I just yelled at my mother for making me and my exboyfriend break up. Its not that she forced us to break up, she just did everything harder for us because she thought it was all wrong.
I dont like yelling and I dont like being yelled at.. yet thats what the relationship with my mother mostly consists of. Thats one of the reasons why Ive been wanting to move out of the country... Distance makes us get along a lil bit better.
... Not a lot better though. Last summer when I was in Bulgaria, we had a phone fight about. It was mostly about she telling me that the relationship with my back then boyfriend made no sense. I cried a lot.
That night, when I talked to my boyfriend, I cried a lot. That scared him. Could be one of the reasons of our break up.

No matter that I am over him. That breakup's been one of the hardest things in my life. I miss him too much... Man, our life could have been so good

Ah sorry for the rant ^^u Im just too tired, too sad, too cold, too stressed...
*hugs everyone* I hope you are all feeling great! ^_^

My eyes burn from crying.
I wish I had someone by my side right now. Someone to hug me and share my pain. But theres nobody. All my loved ones have their own life.
May tomorrow bring my last dawn

Oh Im so in love with Lifehouse <3. If you havent listened to their songs, you must
Thats Jason, the singer. See also my new icon